Single & Sophisticated: A Letter to Single Ladies

Last year, I was asked to write a letter to the ladies of the Atlanta, GA Set Apart, Single & Sophisticated Retreat hosted by Chante Truscott ( and Shineka Karim.  All too often single women are getting pressures from all angles of life about doing everything except enjoying and maximizing being single.  This (slightly revised) letter was my contribution to their conference participants. Enjoy!


Hey Lady! 


So you’re single huh?!  Have your parents started pressuring you about finding a husband yet?  Grand kids?  Are your friends all married or engaged and starting to have “Couples Night” to which you would rather watch paint dry than attend?  Join the club, mine too.  BUT, that’s okay. I’ve gone out and gotten a life of my own! I know, the nerve of me to live a fulfilling life as a content single. 


 Just hear me out for a sec…


Being single is as good or as bad as you make it.  Singleness is where you get to be selfish as you prepare to one day become a wife.  It is in your singleness that you get to make and obtain goals that only requires consideration of self.  It is in your singleness that you get to get your education, build a career, travel abroad, take risks and work on improving your financial stability.  (Wayment, *pause* … Did you know that 88% of men in a survey said “spends beyond means” and “has debt” are turn offs to them? Girl, you better get your money right! … *press play*) It is in your singleness that you get to go and experience what you want, when you want, for however long you want.


If you sit around sulking in whom and what you don’t have, comparing yourself to Ruth & Boaz Sally & Dean, and seeing only those things that you lack, you’ll be miserable.  I encourage you to press, pursue, and succeed in your singleness.


Marriage is a ministry that we ladies want and dream about from a young age.  I mean, we’re groomed from our toddler years well into adulthood to be wives.  So what about that in between time? What are you doing with yourself?


Press through the stereotypes of what people are conveying to you as negatives in your singleness. Define your own journey and experience this season of life through your own lens, not theirs.  Pursue that which will bring you joy with or without a man.  A man doesn’t complete, he compliments!  You want it, go get it! Succeed according to your rules.  Define what success is to you at this stage in your life and grab it. It’s yours to have.


Life as a single is abundant, fruitful, and enjoyable.  Trust God during your process and hold on to his promises as you wait.  Get into it Hunni!


             Fabulously Building Wealth,

             Tretta Bush

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